You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married

There is only one fight, one conflict, one issue, which couples get locked into, and that is: who is right and who is wrong. When you analyze any disagreement, what you find is that the topic is always the same. Couples often argue to prove their point and to prove that they are right on any given topic. The variables that get a couple going are endless, from not picking up his/her socks to the frequency of sex. However, as the disagreement progresses, the topic invariably shifts to who is the good guy and/or who is the bad guy.

What is interesting about these “Right Fights” is that they are not about needing to be right, but come from the feeling of being wronged, hurt, or unloved. Couples want to right the wrong they feel, and then get mired in their battles over blame.



The solution is to address the feeling of being hurt or unloved, by connecting as a couple. Our wounds cause us to withdraw, and that is why communication fails. By remaining close, two people are able to discuss their differences, express their pain, and feel more intimate afterward Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. You can learn to handle these conflicts in such a way that nobody has to be made wrong in order to resolve the fight. We naturally want to fight and prove our point, but we can learn to quit fighting with each other and instead connect and resolve issues with both people on the same side. http://www.helptalking.com

In You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Loved-Based Solutions for Couples, Brett Williams explains in greater detail why these “Right Fights” occur and what steps we can take to resolve conflict. He provides practical exercises to assist couples in connecting, communicating and improving their relationships. You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married

Important Ways of Dealing with a BreakUp

It is important that you come to terms with your real feelings about your breakup. You may just be carried away by the initial shock, while deep inside you don't really mourn the end of your relationship. Cool down and determine what really hurts you.

Avoid passing the buck

When you are dealing with a breakup, it is very tempting to shift all the blame to your ex. In some circumstances, you may do the reverse, and heap all the responsibility of the break up on your head. Whichever way the blame is pointed to, it is not healthy.

Passing the buck will stop you from getting to the root cause of the problem so that you may find the best solution. You should not let your emotions cloud your judgment.

Maintain a polite attitude


As you are involved in dealing with a breakup, you should understand that the only help you will get by being rude is in making matters worse.

You will only make your ex get more convinced that you are not the right person to get into a relationship with. You will seem rather childish, and your respect will be shattered to pieces. Even other people who hear you will not take you seriously.